“On the tradition of shaking hands after games.”
by Dr. Ed Hastings
Recently after a professional football game, two coaches got into a heated argument during and after the traditional post-game handshake. This experience prompted some football commentators to advocate for a post-game “nod from a distance” for the coaches rather than the midfield handshake between the coaches. This seems to me to be settling for less, sending the wrong message and crumbling under the pressure.
Tony Dungy, the former professional football head coach, is in favor of keeping the practice of the handshake. He sees the handshake as a way for the coaches to practice what they preach; to put into action what they are telling their players to do. In this highly visible scene, this is a great opportunity for the coaches to demonstrate poise, sportsmanship and control of their feelings.
As the chaplain for the men’s basketball team at Neumann University, I participate in the handshake line after the game. Believe me, this is not always easy. There have been several times when I have wanted to head straight for the locker room after the game, rather than get in line for this traditional gesture. However, I fought through my feelings and got in line, offered my hand as a gesture of congratulations. I forced myself to do this and it was a challenge.
I would not be in favor of just nodding to the other team and just walking off the court. Nodding would probably be easier but would not be as challenging and as gracious for me. Nodding would not call forth from me an attitude of appreciation and gratitude for the other team. Even though, sometimes we just fly through the line with no one making any kind of eye contact, this is better than just walking off the field, court or ice without recognizing the other team.
I love this quote from The Legend of Bagger Vance and I find it inspiring. We have it on our Respect Pillar in the Atrium of the Mirenda Center for Sport, Spirituality and Character Development at Neumann University. Bagger Vance says to Junah, the golfer:
“Therefore, Junah, love your opponents. When I say love, I don’t mean hand them the match. I mean contend with them to the death, the way a lion battles a bear, without mercy but with infinite respect. Never belittle an opponent in your mind, rather build him up, for on the plane of the Self there can be no distinction between your being and his. Be grateful for your opponents’ excellence. Applaud their brilliance. For the greatness of the hero is measured by that of his adversaries…Those new to the game often cheer an opponent’s misfortune, but the player of wisdom who has entered into the soul of the game schools himself to feel and act the opposite. This too is the greatness of the game.”
Bagger Vance is speaking about golf here, but this can apply to any sport. We are called to respect our opponents, strive to beat them and appreciate them afterwards. This in my mind is true sportsmanship and I would not want to lose this challenge in whatever sport we are playing. This attitude that Bagger Vance is advocating is not always easy, it is not always convenient but it is doing what Tony Dungy is in favor of promoting. In doing not what we feel like doing but what we feel called to do, we are freed up to act in accordance with our values. The humility and humanness of the handshake can embody some of the best life lessons that sports can offer us.
